live softly

home sweet home

ls — Wed, 11 May 2011 02:35:08 +0000

scary and wonderful.
sadness and laughter.
stories about it all.
how I wish I could hear.

bon voyage

ls — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 12:48:29 +0000

Travel safely and see with your new eyes just how wonderful the world is. Whether our paths cross again or not, you are always in my thoughts and in my heart. Taste the air. Smell the food. And remember them for later. One day you will tell me about it all, and you know I’ll want the details. Hear new sounds, the accents, the words, the music. Love again. Feel again. Be again. Enjoy yourself. Bella.

sadness and light

ls — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 23:03:15 +0000

a proper sadness. respecting the ending.
the contrast of a burden lifted with the
sorrow of parting ways. not meant to be.
knowing enough to stand still when lost.
knowing that time is an ally even while
it is an enemy. a delicate balance. not
rushing even while she slips farther away.
keeping dignity with an open heart. loving
to the end.

I miss you

ls — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 17:22:54 +0000

life with a friend. mentor. lover. gentle critic. seeing all my faults. talking sweetly about the ones that matter. ignoring the rest. exaggerating the good in me. showing me another way. comforting. just being there. exposing your heart. being vulnerable. watching over me. tolerating my criticisms. understanding my intent. allowing me to comfort you. dreaming big dreams together. cherishing small miracles. seeing beauty in the smallest moments. walking and smiling while mentally holding hands. knowing that you are so loved. never wanting. always feeling full. breathing together. knowing so much about the other. knowing so much about love. being blind. your beauty is because of my eyes. but it’s also real beauty. physical and your soul shines. I have known you so long. before this life. I am sure of it. always believing in me. caring even when no one else is looking. caring even now when I don’t deserve it.

sensual

ls — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 09:12:37 +0000

alone. the day is dark. so lonely
striking contrast to years gone by
living one day at a time, not feeling
nothing but numbness. can you now feel?

your day is here, but I am missing
we would have tasted heaven and
drunk from God’s cup – wine sweet
like dripping honey. can you taste yet?

diamonds. your stone, so exquisite
facets of our lives together. gone
now without a trace except for the
broken echos and shards. can you hear?

wild roses on the garden wall. thorny
but so beautiful and the smell of dessert
petals so delicate like the finest silk
attar on the wind. can you still smell?

your eyes blurred. so wet with the rain
hiding the tears that threaten to come
like a torrent. what is left of this life?
clouds hiding the sun. can you still see?

helen

ls — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 16:11:21 +0000

carer. discipliner. tired woman
raising eight children. birthing ten
jennifer dead. a boy also. pain
and tears at carrying a corpse

liver of dreams. provider. lover
of us all. giving when there was
nothing left to give. wiping our
tears. making us weep salt

teller of tales. stealer of stories
funny mother. your losses make us
indignant and angry when we
should be be understanding

you are us in a few years – with
luck and hard work. to be so loved
is profound, rare. to be so admired
is what we strive for. mother.

running

ls — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 19:20:17 +0000

silence. the world sleeps while I toss and turn.
weird dreams awaken a longing inside me
that I haven’t felt for a very long time.

emptiness. the comfort of warmth is hiding.
I am left to guess, ponder and consider
whether I understand your real truth.

sadness. your promises have not been kept.
running without words! you are supposed
to be my support. pillar. like I am yours.

colours

ls — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 09:11:00 +0000

red as love sleeping peacefully in your arms
the maroon tones, gently
washing the crimson tides of passion, calm
warm light, yellow and soft

how would you like to be remembered?

ls — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 02:36:12 +0000

I was listening to CBC radio the other morning and I heard an inspiring piece about an art exhibition by ex-convicts from a halfway house in Toronto. The art was inspired by a text message to the halfway house inhabitants that asked “How would you like to be remembered when you die?” The art was the response and from the conversations it was interesting to remember once again that we are only divided by the circumstance of our lives. As one of the artists said “there are a lot of people out there that often do bad things – but they just don’t get caught. Yet these same people have no problem moralizing about the evils of doing bad things.”

silence

ls — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 02:29:29 +0000

silence, the sweetness of your sound
vibrates through my entire body
settling into my core, shaking the dust,
wiping the lintel above my soul

my friend the wind, torturous sounds
like the wolf howling after the kill
warm and cold all at once, simmering
this chill inside my timid heart

silence. silence, how I love your sound
moving aside my fears, watering
the seeds of my happiness, washing away
the doubt of who I always am

I remember you

ls — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 03:00:07 +0000

you think I’ve forgotten you. your face
is imprinted in my mind. a thousand years
we have known each other. friends, lovers
travelling through time without knowing
the story’s end.

comfort in familiarity. talking in silence,
knowing before the other spoke, these were
our greatest moments. we are like water -
impermanent shape. we are never starting,
never ending.

you cannot take me away and I cannot
leave you. the imprints are deep. I owe much
of myself to us – to a love that burnt so
brightly that it scarred my soul. your love
will never leave me.

I never want it to. I want to be able to rub my
fingers across the old marks – feel their shape,
respect the fire that branded. I am unsure,
shaky about why. you think I don’t remember
yet I always see you.

lost without a map

ls — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 05:42:45 +0000

the days go by and the ache has not yet subsided
life moves at a harried pace, running never walking
the world blurry to my tired red eyes, straining to see
and be a part of it. I seem trapped in another dimension
with nothing to link me back, no lifeline to show me the
way, no guide to point out the direction. I can’t seem
to step back though my life is just on the other side
of a very narrow lane. So close yet so far away.

lucky in love

ls — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 00:55:44 +0000

You know the person you want to be comforted by when life is just terrible? Who is that person? And the person you want to share all your joy and good times with? Who is this person?

You are tremendously lucky in love if both situations name the same person; the rest is just icing on the cake. (And you know you can smooth over icing or use it to decorate as you like – that’s what icing is for.)

Happy Valentine’s day! Enjoy the true meaning of love this year. Here is a wonderful quote to get you started:

“Love that stammers, that stutters, is apt to be the love that loves best.”
— Gabriela Mistral

haiku

ls — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 01:16:03 +0000

sky:
cotton on blue cloth
drifting and floating higher
in azure summer sky

bird:
within my soft hand
an injured bird grows strong
to fly again in freedom

love:
the blood red pumps
heartbeat away from the sound
that heels in spring make

parents:
boundless in your love
to give comfort with such ease
autumn’s too fast now

light:
you lead in the dark
the shine of your inner light
no match for winter

stillness

ls — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 01:24:58 +0000

snow covers the earth and birds rarely come
to our yard to chirp and flirt with each other
life has come to a standstill, very little moves
outside, the world does not seem to bother

life as I know it creeps like so thick maple sap
potential for sweetness, missing heat and care
I wander with no path, no direction, just wander
hoping very much I will see you standing there

nature is dormant but pregnant with potential
the slightest warmth will get all the buds bursting
greenness, sunlight, how I wish I could hold you
in my arms. For then I’ll no longer be thirsting

escaped

ls — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 03:24:05 +0000

you escaped. from right under my nose
slipped away into the night. taken flight
from the coldness and harshness of life
how could I let you go without a fight?

furtive glances. long goodbyes. watching
you turn and wave goodbye. a sad smile
a soft kiss blown clear across the aisle
how could I let you go after all this while?

who am I gonna miss? “Me!” you answer
who are you going to miss? “You!” True.

dashed

ls — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 04:59:15 +0000

you destroyed me tonight along with your
own hopes. dashed like a drifting ship on
the sharp crags of shore. plucked from the
apex and dropped into mire and filth.

wasted. the energy, the passion, the very
core of my being wasted. playing a game
with life – your life – is foolish. standing
before gods as witnesses of foolishness.

i did not anticipate getting here this fast
wiping tears where moments before there
were smiles. ask yourself why you need to
be loved more than you love. grow.

ask yourself why you are most afraid when
you are at your happiest. look deeply

because

ls — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 05:46:27 +0000

dive headfirst into the sun
and you wont be burned
plummet down from the sky
and your bones will not break
walk into the oceans deep
and you will not be drowned
lie out on the coldest night
and your skin wont be bitten
watch the flames of the sun
and your eyes will not scar
because you are looking
deeply and awakening

i understand

ls — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 00:33:25 +0000

i understand who you really are
your true nature lies bare for
everyone to see and categorize you

selfish. user. manipulator. bitch
your needy nature knows no
bounds. has love ever touched you?

yet i know there is more to this
your fear guides your life
insecurity your best friend. forever

when will you grow? an eternity
has passed and you stuck
still locked in a dance with yourself

different partners same song
the steps are different
but the tune is hauntingly familiar

with love there are never games
played. no tests given
no using. no manipulation and lying

love is freedom. free and safe
to be you. smiling like
the entire world is paradise. just

just because you are with me and i
am with you. laughing like
you finally know what love feels like

and you wonder why. for so many
years you hid behind a mask
when you could have been laughing

knowing

ls — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 02:01:47 +0000

standing in the corner watching you smile
and laugh with the ease of a child but somehow
still practiced. oblivious to your pain. my face
in darkness, shadowed from the light by curtains
of cobwebs spun from threads of remorse

your laughter pierces my ears, shrill with
happiness that is rehearsed and unnatural
my eyes burned with your vision, hopelessly
parading your wares. your vulgar attempt for
acceptance in stark contrast to your beauty

desperation in knowing the carnal but not
knowing love. always grasping for what’s
not there, looking down the wrong road,
choosing the wrong door, opening the wrong
book. desperation for not knowing yourself