lost and dazed

October 16, 2010

lost and dazed. feeling alone in a sea of people
blurry eyes that do not see correctly anymore
a heart that does not feel right, beating and
hurting you. hurting for you. you stinging my chest
with words that challenge my way, my action, my life

why throw away love? when it should be held close
to heal my aching heart. to nourish my darkened soul
that sounds hollow when tapped, a husk of
my former self. scattered where I was sharp, confused
instead of assured. conflicting with myself over my hardness

victims of my madness fall in suffering, wondering
why change that is so consuming, has happened
without any warning. a trip away and life has crashed
like it was built from rubble. it seemed so strong and resilient
never-ending, never needing repair, always there. for granted

I need my life back, whatever form it takes, now
that much is destroyed and falling apart in front of
my eyes, from the outside things appear perfect like
rainbows and sunshine, why complain? inside I mourn for advice
to live a dream or my reality. cornered, I snarl like a mad dog. gnashing

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